Total utter confusion and hurt and mess. HELP!!!!

You should be honest with him and tell him asap that you're confused. Tell him you're sorry and that you don't want to hurt him. But because you care for him so much, he needs to know it isn't 'love'. It's best to get this out in the open so that both of you can get on with your lives. You can't lead him on. You'll feel much better about yourself once you put this behind you. I know it's hard but you have to tell him. :(